December

"I feel strange."
"I think I'm sick."
"I don't want to do anything, I don't want to study."
"Strangely, I feel sleepy."
"I feel listless."
"I think a part of me is broken."
"I feel like something is pressing my heart."
"It feels so frustrating, and it makes me sad."
"What should I do?"

I wish someone will take my mind and take my pain. Like an empty bottle takes the rain.
I also wish someone will take my past and take my sins. But obviously no one can. It's all my responsibility. My life currently falling apart piece by piece. When everyone think I'm lucky, but it's not.

I'm not happy. Everyday I feel same stress, sadness, pain, disappointments and heartbreaks. How can I'll be proud of myself if I got the success without happiness? I tried. I gave everything, my effort, but they can't see it.

I hate arguing. So, I stop doing everything that I want, and what I love. I feel like I'm better off alone. Being alone is addictive. keep thinking about how I'm gonna live in future, how can I be someone better and sometimes when I'm in so much pain, I don't even bother to put on mask anymore. I didn't know I was a slave until I found out I couldn't do the things I want. When I tried to talk with someone, no one can help because of what? "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view"

Saturday 17/12/2016